notes from the heart

hello {project life} !

2011-11-18T10:33:00.003+08:00

i am so excited! project life is now in singapore!!! scraplicious is carrying the Project Life for southeast asia! great news! i am just as glad that PL is finally close to home. singapore is so near that it makes me want to fly there and get the stuff! but that will make it more expensive! good thing i have friends over there to get/send it for me!

i just pre-ordered my PL! Clementine, i can't wait for you!

i am still catching up with project life... i am way behind (more on my approach, i will surely make a post on that), but i love what it has done to me in terms of memory keeping.. it is a HUGE plunge for me, i must admit but it is all WORTH IT!

and seeing my son look at it and hearing him REMEMBER those moments make my heart melt!

looking at one of those unfinished spread... {love that look on his face!}

jumpstart

2011-09-02T10:07:00.024+08:00

is it september already? the past months seemed like a blur.

right now, life is a challenge especially with having a new baby and an active pre-schooler in tow. very daunting that it has consumed all my time, energy and effort, shuffling in between the many hats that i have to wear each day. i have totally not forgotten about my goals but more often than not, when i am about to do my stuff, something would come up - a baby that needs soothing or a cry of help from a boy who can't find his fave toy or even an errand to be done for hubby.

right now, there's a nagging feeling to organize and get back into the groove again. yet again, i am overwhelmed. early this year i made an attempt to take my memory keeping into a different level. and so i did (and is still doing) project life. although i want to keep it current, i also intend to work backwards to january so i could get the whole year of 2011. yes, it is a tough thing to do, with the time that i have in my hands. but when i saw what i did for the months of february to half of april, it made me soar. especially when i see my son flipping through its pages. he just loves seeing his photos in an album. and the good thing is that i haven't lost the urge to take photos and jot down bits and pieces of everyday life. when i went through my project life photos, i noticed that there are weeks that come with few photos and there are weeks that come aplenty. i am totally fine with that. i know that when i come face to face with project life again, i can come up with something to make it fit my liking.

right now, i need to make all things work on my side. as the month of september sets in, i intend to update my project life, make it more current and simple. and when i am fully adjusted to being a mother to two adorable kids, i would love to dabble on traditional scrapbooking.

right now, i continue to be inspired by others who share the same passion as mine. their works have ignited that love for creativity that has been put off for quite a time now. i am keeping the spark to make mine aglow.

yey for project life

2011-03-16T13:08:00.005+08:00

i am soo excited that finally my project life is here!!! i am happy to be able to get hold of this product (even if it costs me a lot!) but i really believe that system will work for me to record our life now, especially that we will be having baby #2 very soon. this should work because i was only able to put up 1 album for euan - his baby photos (my bad). all the photos are stuck in my computer.

so on top of arranging all the page protectors and title cards, one of the things in my to do list is to select the pictures that will go in this project. since i am so bent to try this out in january (but decided to order on february), i have been taking snapshots of our lives. at first i admit, i planned to do a picture-a-day approach but there are days that i am so stumped, that i decided to go on a weekly approach. i have never taken so many pictures than now so i decided to organize my pictures on a weekly basis and select from there which would go to the PL and which would be for regular LOs. also, since i started with lots of pictures in january, i have been doing some journaling that i have written either here in my blog or in my journal. although i have read in PL community that backtracking is not really recommended as one can really start at any month of the year, i intend to start with the current week and work my way backwards to january and see if i can make the whole of almost 3 months worth of photos. i hope i can manage it since i am almost complete with the journaling. it's just a matter of putting it all together. but if not, then it's ok, i can use those in the regular LOs.

so this is my gameplan. i believe i can do this. all i need is to focus (olw) on my gameplan.

high five

2011-03-16T09:20:00.003+08:00

today you are frequently moving. you made sure that your every somersaults and kicks were felt big time. sometimes i feel like my tummy is going to explode because of your mighty moves. but feeling you move so vigorously is the best thing, knowing that you are healthy and you respond to our every tummy rub :)

just like last night. i placed euan's hand on my tummy to let him feel you move. and after a while, you nudged his hand and euan's jaw just dropped in surprise! it was his first time to feel you and that made him so happy. "that's him doing a high five with you", i said. and so when he put his hand again in my tummy, he said, 'baby, high five!".

at this early, i'm just as glad that for that brief moment, you have bonded with your brother. and i just pray that you will be the best of friends for life.

overjoyed

2011-03-04T09:21:00.003+08:00

finally! project life is on it's way! i am very excited to get my hands to it although it might take a while before i get hold of this album. got johnny air cargo to ship it here and i have yet to see how things go. as of the moment i'm just so happy that johnny air representative emailed me that PL is delivered already and they are just waiting for the my other shipments (refills and page protectors). hopefully in the next 2 weeks, i will finally be able to start working on project life. yey!

{create}

2011-02-24T10:28:00.012+08:00

yes, finally! i was able to pull my act together and came out with a lay-out! Yey! my first for the year! after being so overwhelmed with the amazing creations of Ali Edwards yesterday, i was so inspired to scrapbook.

this is the first time that i am not working on a sketch or scraplifting. i just gathered my photos and supplies and work my way into creating a page. i think part of the motivation also came from the free online class that i joined at Big Picture Scrapbooking entitled Embracing Perfection. and just a few weeks in the class, it hit me to the core of why i don't scrapbook the way i should. sure, i wanted to preserve my precious moments but i was just too afraid that my layouts would look too plain and simple compared to those of what others do. i am afraid to have mismatched colors and unproportioned layouts. i would spend time trying to figure out how my papers match with my limited supplies that i would end up frustrated and quit making the LO altogether. i am just soo afraid to have imperfect LOs. i am afraid that my family will not appreciate what i am doing.

but why do i scrapbook? does a layout have to be more important than the memories that i intend to preserve? sure that's part of scrapbooking but i think more than the visuals, it's still all about memory-keeping. i have friends who wanted to try out scrapbooking but i hear them say that they are not creative or they are not into arts. i always say that to them that we are on the same boat. i am not a born artist nor i am creative, but i just have this passion of wanting to preserve what i enjoy now so that i have something to look back to years from now.

maybe i just got it from my mom who is a "photo addict" because she likes to take pictures a lot and we had lots of photos when were kids. actually, even up to now that we have kids of our own. we have tons of albums! she told me once that she wants to have as many memories of the events in our lives and have those in pictures because she doesn't have any picutres when she was a child. how sad is that? so she delights in seeing those photos - it makes her really happy. and i want that. i think it's a legacy that i want to take on. that's where the passion is coming from.

so for those of us who are not gifted with such creativity, don't be discouraged. scrapbooking is also for us. because the very purpose of why we scrapbook is not how beautiful our layout will turn out, but it is how the memories come alive each time we see what we have created. how it brings us back to the moment and re-live those memories. pure joy!

i am still in the process of embracing everything altogether, slow-paced and all, but i know in my heart that nothing would stop me from documenting the everyday. and i am doing this for my family, to let them know that each moment with them are truly cherished, all worthy of the effort of putting it all up together - in a scrapbook layout.

in a drag

2011-02-23T10:33:00.007+08:00

lately, i noticed that i have not been keeping up with the goals i set for myself - stuff that i need to focus on. there is that nagging feeling inside me - longing to create, wanting to document life, craving to get out of the rut.

but i find comfort in knowing that i don't intend to do all this as a task meant to burden - i want to do this because i enjoy doing it regardless of time. i don't want to be bounded by time, although i have known myself to work best given a deadline.

although i have not been literally creating LOs, i noticed that i am writing more, scribbling ideas and taking notes of little stuff which would merit a LO in the future or something that would be included in project life (once i have those in my hands). and although there is a feeling that i should be doing it now, i feel somewhat assured that i have something tangible that i can go back to because i have written it down. my memory always fail me that's why i love the idea of scrapbooking and preserving memories. my journal and cellphone are a mess with scribbled notes and ideas but i like that it allows me to remember my simple joys. for now, i like how it keeps me in the know, how i am more sensitive to the people around me, how i more attuned with my son, how my life is revolving around my family, how i am learning more about myself as a mother and as a wife. and that is what's important.

glimpse of {u}

2011-02-15T10:10:00.001+08:00

today, we are all excited to go to the sonologist. i'm glad that we are all in this as a family - with richie and euan all set to go with me at the hospital.

today, we found out that we are having a BOY (again!), much to euan's delight. he was the happiest when he heard that we are having a boy - with a resounding YES!!, a clutched fist and a cheeky smile. but he suddenly wished it was a girl so mama can have a partner. so sweet of him to think of that. but later when would ask him if he's happy to have a baby brother, he'd always answer YES with a grin!

today, we saw a glimpse of the baby in my womb - a lot of moving, kicking, yawning, thumbsucking, and best of all, SMILING at us! the flash of that big smile melts my heart. and seeing both richie and euan's wide-eyed stares makes it a wonderful experience altogether.

today, we all talked about the experience endlessly. how i was amazed at richie and euan's candid expressions during the whole ultrasound, how euan's eyes popped and jaws dropped when he heard baby's heartbeat saying, "that's baby!", or how perfect the timing was when baby flashed that big smile while euan was candidly singing (for lack of anything to do) or how different this experience was during euan's time. richie is one proud dad, saying that he feels that this baby seems a bit more personable. i think he is still awed seeing the baby smile :) i am still overwhelmed by it!

that one precious smile... if only i could get a glimpse of what my baby was thinking then... but i could sense that he is eager to see us, happy that we are all there to catch a glimpse of him, excited all the more to show us that there is indeed a miracle inside my womb - one healthy bouncing happy baby boy!

i {heart} u

2011-02-14T10:26:00.012+08:00

last friday, i got this from euan. when he saw me, he hid this behind his back and told me to kiss him. then he proudly held up his hand with his gift and told me: Happy Valentine's day Mama! I love you!

My {heart} just melts with him! I so love him dearly!

---------

last weekend, we made several valentine's gift for his grand parents and cousins. he was so excited it them that the moment it was finished, he raced to them and gave his gifts. i love how he is becoming thoughtful now. and i also love that he is now getting more involved into this gift-giving, more than just writing his name but he helps in putting glue and pasting stuff here and there.

for C and N, we made this owl.

this peek-a-boo card for his grandparents was the cutest, that they just love it!

for richie, we made this mini book. this is my take from ali edwards' i love you mini book. i tweaked it a bit as i didn't have a fabric to work on. this is actually my first project for the year. i've been wanting to create and finally i was able to make one. it just feels liberating to do something creative! this is also my first time to try out a hybrid project. on the last page, euan wrote a note. opposite that page is his thumb-print to form a heart. it looked perfect when we tried it out on scratch paper, but somehow looked a bit odd when we did it on the actual book. richie didn't noticed it at first, but euan was quick to point out that he made a heart out of his thumbs. clever kid!

some reflections:
it was a relatively easy project to do because it's all print and go... ali provided a template and tutorial for it and so all you have to do is to assemble. but while i was doing it, i keep on getting the wrong measurements that i was so tempted to give up the entire project. i was also pressed for time! and when i was going through my stash, i found out that i don't have a red patterned paper to work on! but i just can't let frustration ran over me {i was so so bent on doing this for my dear hubby}, so i just "improvised" everything to make it work. i think what is good about scrapbooking is how it does not limit your creativity but it challenge you to be more resourceful {and gets you more creative} into making an imperfect project perfect to your liking.

besides the wet glue {because it was finished just before he was at the doorsteps}, dear hubby was so happy about it altogether. and that made me even happier!

happy valentines day!

losing steam

2011-02-04T09:07:00.006+08:00

i admit it. there are times when i really lose my steam especially when dealing with my toddler. he is at the stage when he gets what he wants even if it is the wrong way. last night, i heard him (and his cousins) arguing while playing snakes and ladders. E wants to be the first to finish the race so he tweaked his move so he can climb the ladder. C got mad and a series of shouting ang arguing began.

it is so frustrating when kids act like this... but i think it is more of me than the kids getting frustrated over it. i tried my best not to get in the argument but the moment i saw them making faces at one another, i gave in to the arguement. and it did not help at all, even if that was my intention.

in these moments i feel guilty. because i let it all blow off instead of letting them handle the situation. sure i wanted to teach my son how to rely on his own, but whenever i see them in constrant brawl with one another, i am almost sure to find myself in the middle of it. i cannot just let my son fight with others, moreso with his cousins but am i doing the right thing of constantly getting in the midst of every fight? even in knowing that after each fight, they are back in their playful mood, as if nothing happened? that's how kids are, right?

i am not a perfect parent, but i strive hard to be a good one. but it is beginning to take its toll on me and it defeats the purpose of my desire to be a a good one.

in my reflections last night, i really felt bad and guilty. guilty of having to lose my patience in dealing with son. i felt bad for getting mad each time he doesn't do what he is supposed to do. and with a new baby coming, i cannot help but feel that if i am to continue this way, i am no less near my strife to be a good parent.

in 7 toxic parenting styles. are you guilty? , it descibes how parenting has become more challenging due to the dictates of our modern culture. i find that striving too hard would not do my kid any favor but it adds up to him having a stressed and anxious mom and me having an even stressed and anxious kid.

now i challenge myself to exercise (more) patience in dealing with my kid, to relax a bit, change my perspective and get rid of my expectations - to just let my kid be a kid.

i have constantly reminded myself in the past to choose my battles with E, but i always, always fail. but it never hurts to stretch myself more to try again as much as i can, to pick my battles and let go of the little things that annoys me more than him. i have to learn to be more gentle, kinder and be extra patient with him. and more importantly, i would have to learn to let him do things independently, to refrain myself from always being on the rescue so that he'll learn how to handle things, to do and act right without me doing it for him.

i know that my son is just in a phase that he will soon pass just like how i know in my heart that these challenges and anxieties shall all too wear off in time.

joy

2011-02-01T13:16:00.004+08:00

i am excited today because it is the start of the joy of love by kelly willette. it is a free class that i joined and for the whole month of february. and i will be in for a real good tutorial to enhance and brush up with photography!
i really wanted to improve on my photography, and with my one little word focus, i think that i'm moving along with my goals for the year! yey! although it is still a constant struggle to not get swamped in cyberworld but i think i now have a good grip of how to spend my time. properly.
on with joy of love, today's lesson is sooo cool and i find that it is also a perfect way to capture the everyday moments for project life (but still haven't found a way how to get that turquoise edition! im still on the look out for cheaper shipping options! and i'm getting frustrated about it!)...
can't wait to get home tonight to take some pictures....

my one LITTLE word

2011-01-19T09:00:00.001+08:00

my hopes for this year are high.

i want to capture life as it happens. i want to write more. i want to hone my creativity. i want to brush up with photography. i want to do this altogether. frequently. consistently.

yet these desires are overwhelming me. my intention to do this not just for my family but for myself as well makes it all daunting.

and for quite some time now, i've been doing a lot of thinking on how to channel all my energy into achieving all this. i've been working on how i can motivate (*challenge* would be more fitting) myself to put all these hopes into something that is realistic, something that is tangible.

this year, i am inspired by ali edwards' one little word. i am not joining her class though. but i like how this one little word is meant to inspire. i like how this word would lead you to endless possibilities.

and so my one little word for this year is focus. my hopes need my full concentration, my whole attention. i see that this little word would move me into making all my hopes come together.

i am happy with my one little word. it excites me. i feel that it will guide me. it will lead me to the right track. and my heart just beats for it, and that's what matters.

rhythm of you

2011-01-17T11:27:00.006+08:00

today, at five months, you are moving frequently. it gives me a different kind of joy having to feel you more often - your every kick, your every nudge, your every beat. your movement seem to be the language that only you and i share.

you seem to move when there is music but you move ever so vigorously when you hear kuya or papa's voice. it seems to me that you can't wait to see them. well, they are eager to see you too that kuya even wants to go inside my belly so he can play with you!

i am happy that one night, papa felt your nudge. i think it was more of a kick because it was a strong one. i love how you have let him feel you. for that one brief encounter, you just don't know how happy it made him. how much more if you are already here!

we can't wait for the day to finally see you!

overwhelmed

2011-01-17T10:24:00.005+08:00

dear son,

i don't know if i have to feel happy about it but at four years old, your attachment to me is quite overwhelming. each morning is a struggle for me to go to work because you would always beg me to stay! you are not even an early-riser but i don't quite understand how my noiseless attempt to get off to bed seem to wake you up. sometimes, when luck is on my side and i could get off easily, i would be surprised to see you up the minute i'm out of the door!

leaving is equally a hard battle. endless talk of me having to go to work amidst your endless whining for me to just stay and be with you the whole day. but after the meltdown, you would kiss me and let me go!

and today, just before you kissed me goodbye, you told me: "Mama, eat breakfast first!"
you are such a thoughtful kid!

love,
mama

in retrospect

2011-01-10T16:00:00.011+08:00

i'm not into new year's resolutions but lately i've been thinking a lot on so many things i want to do for this year. things that i want to improve on and things that i needed to do but wasn't able to. and so now i wanted to not just dip my toes but take the plunge and dive into a different level of memory keeping.

so this year i want to start anew with project life.

last year i made only around 5 LOs... not bad for a moody and slow scrapper like me but it also did not fulfill my need to record memories. i took a lot of pictures but those did not end in scrapbook projects, they were buried in my hard drive. so now i have tons of backlog and i'm thinking of a better way to do with those pictures.

i also noticed that euan loves to see pictures of him and that is a major cue for me to put up an album for him. NOW. which would mean simple LOs that would document the now of things. i want him to remember. i want him to leaf through the pages of his life. this year i want him to be involved not just as the subject of LOs but i want him to be able to write down some of his thoughts or even get the actual bits and pieces of his daily activities like his doodling and drawings. i love that he loves my LOs, which is a big inspiration for me to really make this process work.

i also want to be able to involve richie as well. between the two of us, he is now better at taking pictures even if i am the one who influenced him into photography. i wanted him to be able to capture life and to capture him capturing life.

i also want to take more piuctures of me and have it in LOs as well. and i also wanted to be able to take more pictures that would speak more of how our lives are, NOW. i also wanted to take more family pictures because i also noticed that we only have a few. even if it means taking it from a tripod or just from self-timer and not-so-perfect photos, i would be more than happy if we would have plenty of pictures together as a family.

i also see that i work best with a deadline. most of the LOs i did were from a blog challenge so i think i can do more if i set myself on something. this would not mean having to pressure myself to take photos a week or do a LO a week. but i want this to be free flowing, something that i will enjoy doing. with a lot of things happening this year, especially with the coming baby, i wanted this to be simple, doable and enjoyable. thinking about it ignites my creativity and all its possibilities. i think i will love this process.

this is a great, big plunge for me. it overwhelms me but i know in my heart that it can be done. one little problem though, project life is sold out after i decided to even try it! guess i would have to keep everything digital first, journal and all then transfer them to the album when it arrives. at least i have something to start with...

that's the spirit! cheers to creativity!

blissful moments

2011-01-06T14:56:00.006+08:00

there are many things to be thankful for this month. after hubby's birthday, today we are celebrating our 5th anniversary. at about this time, we are done with our exchange of vows and was pronounced husband and wife. i can still remember what fr. ador told us in his homily...that 2:45PM, the exact time we were exchanging our vows, is our special prayer time - it is a time that we should pray for each other, where ever we may be. even at times when we failed to be consistent with this promise, because of the many things that we've been doing (although that is not a fair excuse), we never forget to pray for each other before bedtime. this year i hope start the habit of praying for my hubby during our special prayer time.

to my dear husband,

thank you for being with me through thick and thin. our journey was never easy and i know that things will remain to be challenging in the future, but knowing that you are there to take my hand every single step calms my restless heart. the life experiences we have shared along the way made us stronger as a couple and i could never imagine having anyone to share it with than you. YOU have made the journey worthwhile. thank you and i love you so much!

---------

and while i am in bliss, i am also celebrating friendships. it's always refreshing to be with friends who, even if you haven't seen for a while has kept the same warmth over the years. i love my college friends! i love how we have stood with each other as life unfolds. we've seen the best and worst of each other and i love that those were not enough reasons for us to grow apart but instead formed a stronger bond of friendship. i love that we were able to look back and laugh at all our impulsive decisions and silly mistakes during our younger years. and i love that those remained to be private among us. best of all, i love that we have remained true to each other over the years. it really feels good to have true friends who would welcome you with open arms in spite and despite of.

hopeful

2011-01-03T10:38:00.005+08:00

As i bid goodbye to a challenging 2010, i am looking forward to 2011 with hope.
2010 was not a perfect year for me but God always has His way of making His presence felt in my life. He has gifted me another chance on motherhood, my top blessing for 2010. He has made me experience His love through the joys of having a wonderful, happy toddler who rocked my world big time. I found His strength through my loving husband to whom i find comfort when all else seemed helpless. He has constantly reminded me to be joyful, even when trials get the better of me.
As I welcome 2011 with much hope, I also embrace it with much thanksgiving as we celebrate my husband's birthday. His birthday has always been a gentle reminder for me to be thankful at the start of each year - with the blessing of another year of love, joy, and friendship.

Happy new year! May 2011 be a better year for all of us. Cheers!

amused

2010-09-14T09:19:00.017+08:00

today, you woke up telling me over and over how much you miss me, while hugging me tight. i almost did not go to work just to stay with you. my heart just melts at how you look at me as if telling me to stay. but after a while you kissed me goodbye and told me to take care. you are just the sweetest!

lately, you have been learning to read (or should i say spell) almost everything you see. you even love to read traffic signs and would often asked what those meant. i think it is more of me than you that is amused everytime you came up with words that go with what you have spelled. i think it is because as a toddler, you are more of a picture-reader at this stage. and so, some of what you have spelled lately:

G-A-P -> JACKET (the word was written on your jacket)

L-A-C-O-S-T-E --> ALLIGATOR (there was an alligator patch with the word written on your shirt)

E-X-P-L-O-S-I-V-E --> DAMIT (how's that? that was written on tito sam's shirt!)

T-O-S-H-I-B-A--> LAPTOP

B-A-B-Y- C-O-U-T-U-R-E --> BAG (i don't know how you knew that this was a bag because you just read it from some paper bag)

F-E-N-D-E-R --> GUITAR... ay hindi pala...BASS GUITAR (and now you can even classify what type of guitar it is!)

the last two words were written in cursive but you were able to spell it anyway... you are simply amazing... and amusing!

through your eyes

2010-09-02T09:47:00.026+08:00

today, you are a kid bursting with emotions, a kid with a tremendous personality.

i see that you are a happy child. you love to laugh. every tickle, every chase, every word that sounds funny to you would merit your laughter. i love how your laughter echoes in the house. even when there are a lot of moments with whining and crying especially when you don't get what you want, you could easily switch on your happy mood.

i see that you are affectionate. you love to hug, kiss and snuggle those who are dear to you. you never forget to kiss lola goodnight just as you cannot sleep without mama hugging you tight.

i see that love to be praised, even with the little things that you do. you wanted to be right all the time and despised being told that you are wrong.

i see that you get mad easily. when something annoys you, with hands on your waist, you would shake your head and have that mad-eyed look! but you too can easily shrug off what seem to have caused the rage.

i see that even as a toddler, you have a perfect sense of order. you would always remind me to arrange and put my slippers beside yours just before i climb to bed at night. or how you would want to arrange your wooden dominos by pairing the same images altogether.

i see that you are a budding musician. you love to sing and love to mess with papa's guitars. and when you hear some good music, you would instantly do that foot-tapping and follow the beat as if you are playing the drums or the guitar. you love to be in papa's practice and even want to be in places where papa plays.

i see that you are an artist. you love arts and crafts and dabble with mama's paints and materials. you love to get your hands dirty and explore whatever materials i give you (be it paint, glue, clay,rocks, shells, etc). you know how to appreciate the arts and would always remind me how beautiful my works are. one time when i entered a contest and didn't win, you told me that it's ok and that there's always a next time.

i see that you love to write. i love to hear you ask me for more papers so you can write letters, spell names, draw and doodle what would tickle your fancy.

i see that you love to read. even if it is just picture-reading, i love that you are able to connect the pictures with words and tell it into your own words. it amazes me that you remember each stories and even memorized some of your well-loved books.

i see that you are a fast and eager learner. you do get bored easily over repetitive activities but at the same time would never stop doing the things you have learned. you look forward learning new things in school while also enjoying the other times when it's only the two of us exploring different ways to learn.

i see that we are important to you. you are sad when we are not with you but you are extremely happy when we are around.

seeing all that through your eyes makes my heart melt.

cook-out peeps

2010-09-01T14:00:00.010+08:00

we love to eat. we are happy eaters. we are happy to get together once a month and share not just meals but also secret recipes to good food. we look forward to this gathering since this is the time when we don't fight the urge to pig out. we are happy to get the better of each other in cooking! and we just get better and better each cook out fest.

we love to laugh. we love stories that even when told over and over earn endless laughter, stories that would make our jaws ache and eyes teary from too much laughing.

we love to be together. anywhere or any time of the day, each time is always a blast! because those are spent with wonderful friends.

yey for happy times!

a night like no other

2010-08-16T10:43:00.022+08:00

dear son,

i look forward spending evenings with you, especially when it is time to laze up in bed and read with you before bedtime. you would pick up a book (and most of the times, it would be the same book, for a week or two!) and we would read it over and over. there were moments when i am too tired to read to you but your pleading would make me give in to read a book or two. but there were also days that you want to read 5 books! and i would find myself still giving in.

lately, you love your bible stories book. you love being read about the stories of noah, samson, jonah, and david. the stories of the first christmas and tower of babel amaze you. i have often wondered if you would remember these stories and i am happy that you did when last night, you asked papa to read to you the story of samson, telling him ahead what it was all about!

my heart just bursts with joy!

it was a rare moment to see you and papa reading together and i was thrilled watching the two of you, having a great a time!

you know that i love reading with you and i know that you love being read to. it has been OUR bonding moment. but it takes me on a different high seeing that you have taken on the habit and shared that moment with papa. a moment that i know will hold a special place in papa's heart.

know that these moments mean big time for us... even if those are some random moments or a part of our 'usual' routine, we are overwhelmed with joy for every single time spent with you.

love,
mama

mimic

2010-07-31T00:03:00.009+08:00

i love this stage when all that kids do is imitate whatever you do, whatever you say no matter what the situation is. sometimes it gets into my nerves but most of times it just makes me roll with laughter.

and so i did this LO for sketch 196 of pencil lines, highlighting how my son loves to mimic me. it's my first time to join in their challenges but i've been a frequent visitor of their blog.

here's the sketch...

and here's my take...

i did some paper tearing and distressing...

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Journaling: The moment you saw me aim the camera at you, you immediately held up this worn out toy you were playing with and mimic me. I love it when you let me in to your imaginative world. It reminds me to see things through your eyes. Love, Mama

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i love how the pins turned out in this LO. i did not plan to use it this way but i love the effect! :)

i am glad that i was able to use some of the papers i bought from a scrapbooking sale 2 years ago...

thanks for looking!

another one for pagemaps

2010-07-18T16:29:00.004+08:00

this month for the pagemap's challenge ...i flipped the sketch and added a few embellishments... here's my interpretation...

i love how the color scheme matches the shirts of my son and his cousins... and how these robots from bella blvd somehow mimics the pose of the kids... i wanted to make the robots look like they are sitting so i propped them on a cardboard and folded their legs...

instead of buntings, i added a strip of jute string. thanks for looking!

first day high

2010-07-07T10:53:00.009+08:00

euan is having a blast in school... from the first week that i observed him in class, he seemed to enjoy the new adventure - having new friends, wearing a uniform, having an "Iron Man" lunch bag (a must!) and just being in a class is such a thrill to him. i hope the energy won't wear off. i have this crazy feeling that he might not like it in school but with the way i see it, it won't be a problem. i like that he feels "at home" in school immediately - no separation anxiety at all! it seems that it's more of me that is having a hard time to let go of my little man! but i also think that feeling so at home is the very same reason that's going in the way of things. euan got a taste of discipline from his teacher when he was told to sit properly and to not put his feet on the table! talk about being so comfy and home-y! and so after i talked to euan, he told me he won't do it again ang promised to behave well in school. i'm pretty sure this won't be the last time (because school has just started!) but i am really hoping that i will be able to talk things out with him in a loving way so he could understand and obey easily. with his endless whys, patience (and a lot of love!) is really the key. i hope i can endure it all.

tribute

2010-06-21T18:16:00.008+08:00

i made this as a gift for richie on father's day. i want to capture his joys as a father, thus the sub-title.

what made it more special is the note that euan wrote... his first, but something that he understood this time :)

happy father's day richie... thank you for being my strength and my comfort. know that euan and i loves you so much!

wow!

2010-06-11T09:38:00.015+08:00

this was my son's word when he saw the recent LO i did of him for the Pagemaps challenge. 3 letters. big impact. and it came with a BIG, BIG HUG too!

i cherish the fact that it helps him remember the story when the photo was taken. i could also sense that he is happy to be part of my work. he is not big with words yet but hearing him express his thoughts on my work takes me on a different high. seeing him appreciate my work gives me a whole new sense of direction in documenting our life story. it inspires me to create more.

now on to the challenge...
i am a HUGE fan of pagmaps... i LOVE all their sketches and now, i am having FUN to actually try out the sketches... this is my 3rd 12x12 LO! yey! i am just so happy to be reunited with my papers again! here's the sketch and the goodies...

here's my son with my take on the pagemaps challenge...

Title: Baby Love

Materials used: Papers: Tree bugs in Rug, Basic Grey, Bella Blvd; Inks: Ranger; Transparencies, Jute string, buttons, flowers, and pearls

Journaling: You were just babies. But can we help it if you adore each other so much?

i did a few techniques here and did some hybrid embellies... i distressed the cut-out flowers and i also experimented on printing some digital elements on transparencies for those butterflies and flourishes. i love the effect!

i also love this picture of euan and AJ, it makes them look all soo grown up. they were both 2 years old when this was taken... and all that hug? we were all surprised when AJ hugged him so i just clicked away... now, what would euan think if he sees this years from now? hmmm...

amazed

2010-06-02T14:14:00.006+08:00

dear son,

you'll never know how proud i was when i discovered that at three, you have learned to write your name. what started out as doodling became the letters of the alphabet. you can recite and recognize the alphabet well but you never displayed much interest in writing. or maybe i just failed to notice. so it came as a surprise when during one of our writing activities, after several times of guiding your hand to write, you took the cue and wrote down your name, all by yourself! this is a major achievement for you as a toddler and for me as a mom. i know you get frustrated at times when you can't get to write the letters properly, but you just don't know how i love those cute, imperfect strokes and reversed letters!
yet it gives me a gentle reminder to be big with praises each time you do it right (and to be generous even more when you can't seem to make everything right!). i cherish the fact that those words worked like magic for you to do more and learn more.
this is a beautiful start of your quest for knowledge. may you never tire, my eager learner!

love,
mama

2010-06-02T13:57:00.003+08:00

today i am reminded

...to cherish every single moment

...to value whatever the world holds for me

...to look beyond the ordinary and see everything as a blessing

...to be thankful because i am loved

...to be joyful no matter what the consequences are

...to remain faithful because i am a child of god

happy day

2010-05-31T23:46:00.004+08:00

just a very quick note...

i am so happy to finish a layout based from the sketch of inspired blueprints! my first for the year, and my 2nd 12x12 LO! yey! finally! it just feels so good to scrap again!

i just love the pictures of euan and his cousin yancee. i love how they laughed, played and had a great time by merely playing with a yellow ribbon they picked up while running around.

here is a picture of my son after i finished the layout. i think he is more excited than me! :)

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Title: That yellow ribbon

Journaling: (continued from the title) ...was enough to make an afternoon of endless fun...

Materials used: Paper: Scrapworks Magpie, Srout and Starburst; Bella Blvd Super Stud; Embellishment" Carolee's creations word play; All about scrapbooking chipboard and alpha stickers; ribbons and buttons.

it's all about perfect timing

2010-04-08T13:43:00.006+08:00

I missed blogging! I missed writing down my thoughts… but most of all, I missed having to express myself in ways that I never thought I could!

I feel guilty…Guilty of letting the time pass me by so swiftly, just as where the wind has left me. Guilty of the time wasted for finding all the excuses to not do what I needed to do. You know those times when your brain is telling you to scrap but your body refuses to follow? (There goes another excuse!) Now I am left with nothing concrete on hand but just pure memories from the past.

But what if those special memories escape me? I could never have a way to relive those moments. Worse, I could never be able to pass on our life stories to the very people who have been so much a part of that journey.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on the best way I could do the things that I need to do with the time that I have. With the many roles that I have to sanely juggle to make a happy home, I believe that the key really is to manage my time wisely. That is what I really need to improve on.

That’s why today, I feel the need to start writing those life stories. I feel the need to cherish and re-create those moments in ways that work best for me (I have tons of pictures waiting to be scrapped!). I have found once again how it is to really celebrate life! And I love it!

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p.s.

Quote: Brian Tracy; Digital kit: Eloquent Autumn by Betsy Tuma, Two Peas in a Bucket; Overlay: Jessica Sprague Grunge Frame

humbled

2009-10-02T10:10:00.008+08:00

this was a busy week for the family...my family and our SFC friends organized a relief distribution last monday and yesterday to tunasan area (in aplaya to be exact) who were greatly affected by the typhoon. upto now, the water is still leg-deep. we have to ride a banca in order go to the church and school where the people evacuated.
monday night's distribution was a little over 30 bags only, and with my 3-yr old son euan in tow, it was frightening... at first he didn't know why we had to ride a banca, but with a lot of explanation, i think he was able to understand...
seeing that what we had distributed was not enough, we decided to set another distribution by thursday...we sent email and text brigade to ask for donations...it was not hard to mobilize our sfc friends...and so by wednesday, we re-packed goods and clothes at our place...we also sought help to our CFC south sector office - monday night they gave us clothes, blankets, water and 3 boxes of ready to eat food and by thursday, the gave clothes and food at 200 bags each plus ready to eat food like kamote, egg and bread!!! god really is good!
and so yesterday, at around 11am we went to the area again, this time with almost 20 volunteers, most were from YFC South B. good thing they were with us because it was difficult to transport and unload 4 bancas full of relief goods! i am so thankful for the people who have helped us even for a very short notice because we were all so desperate to get there the soonest. some even offered rubber and pump boats but it wasn't feasible to use them due to narrow roads in aplaya. the distribution went well but it took us til 4pm to send it out to the evacuees.
i just feel so bad that i was not able to bring enough money to feed the volunteers. we were all hungry, buti na lang masaya kasama ang mga YFC, kung nakakabusog lang ang tawa, malamang bundat na kami :D
through it all, i am humbled by the experience. i feel blessed after seeing what others went through but my heart goes out to them because they have to start building thier lives all over again knowing that many of them were not able to save any belongings...
right now, we are still seeking for donations... how we can be able to sustain their needs after this week? i don't know... but what comforts me is knowing that the Lord will provide us with more blessings so we can fill their needs ... i know that God has a hand on this... no matter how big the challenge may be, God is so much bigger and greater than all this. and i still believe that despite of what happened, our nation is still blessed.

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here's my son helping us out in sorting the goods... i'm so proud of him.. young as he is, he already knows how to share :)

thankful

2009-09-28T10:24:00.005+08:00

Today I feel thankful… that in spite of the recent calamity that had stricken our country, we were spared from the great flood that submerged almost the entire of Luzon…
I feel even more blessed that, how a country like ours who has suffered a lot of trials as a people and as a nation, came out to be united in helping out the victims of this tragedy, where people forget about all their personal agendas in the light of extending help to those who are greatly in need.
I pray for continuous healing of our nation and of the people who have lost not just their properties but sadly, the lives of their beloved.
And if we have the capacity to help, let us do our share to care for the needs of our fellowmen. May god bless us all…

excited

2009-09-17T09:43:00.007+08:00

yey! i finally made it to the scrapjam this october! it's my first time to attend a class like this so i'm a bit nervous but i am soo looking forward to this...from the class descriptions, there's so much to learn...this will definitely help me bring that (long lost) "mojo" back...

torned!

2009-08-06T16:17:00.005+08:00

this is one great deal that is sooo tempting! i recently found out that scrapjam has extended its early bird deal until august 20! i've always wanted to join but somehow, my schedule won't always permit. **this has always been a part of my wishlist every year.** now if only i can attend this event, and get to shop! {kahit window shopping lang!} hmmm, i still have to work out our schedule because euan has kindermusik class every saturday and we have consumed the allowed make up classes {we missed 2 sessions already!} but im sooo dying to join the scrapjam! i'm so torned! ...so many sponsors and lots of goodies to look forward to... i'm drooling! :P

mourning

2009-08-03T13:50:00.011+08:00

today our nation mourns for the passing of one great leader. a leader who restored democracy to our nation. a leader who has made a great impact not only to our country but to the world. that even after her term as president, she continued her fight for democracy. i respect her for the kind of leader that she was, but i admire her even more for the kind of mother that she is. her unfailing love for her family is the source of their strength. how she strive to raise her children and have remained a loving mother to them in spite of having to fight for her advocacy.

we thank you for the inspiration, president cory.

curious

2009-07-22T10:34:00.005+08:00

i love this photo of euan peeking through a window. added some textures and frame and this is the effect. i love it! it seems that the photo was taken from an old house or heritage park, but this was taken inside the mall! :) i love the vintage look! (lesson #5 from jessica sprague class).

digging digi

2009-07-15T09:57:00.006+08:00

ok. so i am having a blast in my photo editing class. it is sooo fun to edit pictures for a more enhanced look. im not really adept in photoshop but i've done a little editing here and there yet i found out from this class that what i'm doing was actually the hard way (and most of the time the wrong way!)
it is an exciting class as upcoming techniques are so useful and jessica's tutorial is so easy to follow..and the freebies! wonderful! the kits are courtesy of House of 3 and from jessica herself...
we are on day 9 but i'm a little behind the class coz im still in day 3 (it's self paced anyway, so no pressure hehehe)..plus im having problems with some of my photos...i can't open the zip file that's why i can't edit the photos, argh!
anyway, here are the latest photos i edited...

playing with brushes...

vintage and hand-tinted look...

combination of hand-tinting and brushes...
i still have a lot of catching up to do... but so far, im happy with what i have created ;P

small talks

2009-07-07T10:13:00.008+08:00

i am enjoying my "small talks" with euan..."small" because he can barely complete a sentence but enough to drive a point and be understood...so lately my little story teller raves about how he loves sitting on papa's lap while driving, and honks to every approaching car! it drives us crazy but it seemed like bliss to him!
and so one time when they fetched me, he honked the car. i was taken by surprise that i almost jumped and euan just burst into laughter.

here's his photo in one of our recent trips. i just love every bit of my naughty little boy. (photo editing courtesy of frame-up and special effects by no less than jessica sprague.

euan's summer camp

2009-05-20T09:22:00.003+08:00

this summer we enrolled euan to kindermusik zoo train summer camp. it was his first time ever to be in school. one thing i like about kindermusik is that it is a parent-toddler, play-and-learn class so the learning is simulated through lots of playing, singing and nice music.
at first i thought we wouldn't be able to finish the 6-week class because euan, for some reason only he could understand, won't take off his shoes! parents and kids are only allowed to wear socks inside the class area and so for two saturdays, we just stayed outside the area (although we can see what the other kids are doing). euan participated on some activities but most of the time he would not follow what teacher mara was doing.
but on our third week, he finally agreed to go inside the class area on one condition - to wear his shoes! i never thought kids this age can get to bargain for what they want! and so he did went inside, with his shoes on, and participated.
on our fourth week, i bought aqua shoes for euan so he could get to walk freely without having to worry of him stepping on someone else's toes (at least mas magaan ang aqua shoes kesa sa normal shoes) and for hygenic purposes as well because the kids would lie down and roll in the area so kung may shoes nga naman, madudumihan yung class area. i think he was excited to wear his aqua shoes. he participated well and teacher mara was so happy of how attentive he was to the activities!
we still have 2 sessions left but i can say that euan enjoys school. even when we were outside the first two days, he looks forward to coming back every saturday. and when we are doing the activities at home, he knows all the songs and he remembers all the lessons taught in class! i also loved the crafts taught where i can also get to express my creativity and enjoy each art with euan.
and i think this is also a good preparation for euan in time for pre-school next year... i hope there'll be no more bargains by then. i'm keeping my fingers crossed! ;)

meet pee-poi

2009-03-09T13:28:00.002+08:00

that's my new toy... actually, i've been meaning to learn poi dancing since last year but i don't know where to buy one..i've seen instructional videos but watching is different than actually doing the stuff. so when i learned that richie's good friend joseph is into poi dancing, i asked him to get one for me... and last night, i finally got hold of precious pee-poi...

joseph told us that they are sold in pairs so i got 2 pairs, one pair is a combination of neon green and neon pink and the other is blue and white. last night, we had a lot of fun doing the basics, courtesy of joseph of course... dapat pala magaling ka umilag pag nag-poi otherwise, kung saan saan ka tatamaan ... i'm still learning the moves but at least with last night's session, i'm slowly getting the groove! i love it! can't wait to try it out again this week (and hope to chip off those stubborn fat!)

weekend getaway

2009-02-24T09:43:00.007+08:00

we just came back from cebu. we attended the SFC ICon held at Cebu. we had a wonderful (and tiring) weekend. With euan in tow, ay grabe, daig ko pa ang nag-workout sa kakahabol at kakakarga! but it was fun! and euan had a blast with our sfc friends who took turns in "entertaining" him (or was it euan entertaining them, hehehe)

it was a 3-day conference and so we only had the chance to go around the city on sunday afternoon and monday morning. richie and i have been to cebu several times but it was different with euan around. i felt it was more of documenting euan's trip but what the heck, even if i had aching bones trying to contain him just to get nice pictures, ok lang, shoot lang ng shoot. until finally he got the hang of it (sa dami ba naman namin na nagpipicture sa kanya) and posed for us willingly! it made us shuttercrazy!

my first 12x12 LO

2009-02-02T00:37:00.004+08:00

this is actually my first attempt to do a 12 x 12 LO as i am always intimidated by the size of the page.

but i had fun doing it and i am satisfied with what i was able to create. and such a great inspiration from scrap schemes. i usually follow a sketch but i found this blog interesting because they give ideas based on patterns and inspiration pieces seen almost everywhere. (like this challenge was based from the patterns of a curtain. cool!).

so here's my take for scheme 12:

Title: Higher

Materials: Chatter box - Scarlet summer dots, all about scrapbooking - asian heritage, white cardstock, acrylic paints, ribbons, chipboard

Journalling: Euan, No matter where your dreams may take you, know that we are always behind you every step of the way -- Papa & Mama

Photography by Anna Ridulme

on altered art

2009-01-29T13:34:00.007+08:00

i happen to love altering stuff. it just dawned on me today that most of my scrapbooking projects border on altered items. maybe this year i would try to make some 12x12 LOs (and get over my intimidation to it). my husband used to tell me that scrapbooking is supposed to be "recycling" and "re-using" items (which i definitely agree, thus my altered projects) but he would also often asked me as to why i keep on buying papers and embellies when i am supposed to recycle and reuse (hmm, good point though but not good enough to stop me from shopping anyway :) )

so when i found out about artzdescrap, i was elated! because this site is full of inspirations on the altered world! :) the team are so talented and their works are just as awesome. and as they celebrate their 1st anniversary, here's wishing for overflowing ideas and more wonderful creations! and thanks for rubbing in the passion! congratulations!

altered frames

2009-01-27T11:20:00.021+08:00

last christmas, i was able to make around 9 altered frames as gifts. and that was the last time i touched my stuff!! i've been meaning to scrap since the latter part of december for another batch of gifts for my officemates (which were supposed to be christmas gifts, but all were left unfinished and untouched :( di man lang umabot sa chinese new year ang gift ko!) i have been putting it aside, telling myself to take a rest because i've been busy (and mostly sleepless) last holiday season pero sobrang rest na ata upto now i can't get myself to do it! now i'm sinking into my moody state again! hay!
i guess i really have to "pressure" myself and set deadlines coz i think that's how i get my scrappin mojo cookin'! yan e kung may mojo nga hehe but at least enough to keep me focused on doing something creative.

for some reason i can't seem to embed my slideshow (and i'm getting frustrated for spending half a day trying to figure out what's wrong), so just click here for the rest of the altered frames, all done in a week's time (a week of sleepless nights too!) :)

Cooking adventures

2009-01-27T11:20:00.013+08:00

I am not really a good cook but I try at least to serve my family with dishes that I myself cook. Well not exactly by me, the meals that I cook are mostly from food blogs or those that I saw on TV. This is one of the moments when i feel the need to write the recipes so i won't forget (i am so bad at remembering things lately).

So these are two of richie’s well-loved dishes, which I got from watching the cooking segment of Boy and Kris:

Crispy Liempo with Kangkong
½ kilo of liempo, diced
Maggi magic sarap
Oyster sauce
Kangkong leaves (I used Chinese kangkong and on one occasion, spinach but tbe chinese kangkong tastes better)

Procedure:
Marinade the liempo in maggi magic sarap and oyster sauce (about 1 to 1 ½ tablespoon, or until all the meat is coated)
In a hot wok, put the liempo (the fatty portion) and cook in its own oil. Add the remaining liempo slices and fry until crispy.
Remove the liempo.
Leave at least a teaspoon of oil.
Saute garlic. Add oyster sauce. Add the kangkong and mix until all the leaves are covered.
Add the cooked liempo and stir.
Serve hot.

Picadillo

1/2 kilo chicken giniling

2-3 medium size potatoes, diced

1 carrot, diced

celery stalks, diced

garlic, crushed

onion, sliced

1/2 kilo tomatoes, chopped coarsely

oil

Maggi Magic Sarap (optional)

Procedure:

Heat oil in a wok. Once hot, put ground chicken and cook until no longer pink.

Add garlic and onions. Add tomatoes and cook until the tomatoes wilt. Add maggi maggic sarap and stir well. (if you are not using maggi, season with patis, salt and pepper) Add the potatoes. Add a cup or 2 of water. When the potatoes are almost tender, add the carrots and celery (so the carrots and celery will remain crisp). Adjust seasoning with salt and pepper

And to the words of Kris Aquino: "This is such a winner!"

dreams

2009-01-14T11:22:00.004+08:00

Lately, I had a series of dreams. Dreams about my high school friends. Weird because I haven’t seen them nor talked to them for longest time. Sunday was about my best friend kirk. Everytime I woke up dreaming about him, I always have a feeling that he is not ok like he has a problem or something. And mostly, my gut feel would turn out to be true. But that time, I did not dare text him to check if he is ok. Monday was about my good friends Len and Erwin. They are based in Australia but in my dream, they were here, visiting us. Funny because Len had tons of cosmetics as pasalubong for us. Tuesday was about Bambi and Rosselle. In my dream, Rosselle was pregnant. And last night was about Cecille. I visited her in their house in Pacita while she was having a vacation here. But what interests me in that dream was that I saw my lola, alive! And she was with Euan, strolling along the street while I visited Cel. My lola just died recently. But in my dream, she was as strong as I remembered her.
I don't know but I have this thing about dreams. I don’t know if it is just pure coincidence that my dreams would happen in real life. But most of it really do happen and most of it are those that I just let pass or did not even bother to recall. I also have frequent deja vus and I don’t know if this has anything to do with my dreams. Now I really make it a point to remember all my dreams. I feel that it sometimes warn me from something, I don’t know but I just find it weird sometimes.
And the dream about my lola, what could that possibly mean? I had several dreams about my father who passed away 8 years ago. but I have been longing to dream about my lola since she passed away last year and as far as I can recall, this was only the second time that I dreamt of her. I don’t know what to make out of those dreams, but I think it was more of my longing, my desire to re-live the moment of being with them. Oh well…
And those dreams about my high school friends have gone overboard. 4 days straight! I really do hope that these dreams are not those that serve as a warning for impending danger. Maybe I will just send them an email. And hope for some great news.

celebrations

2009-01-07T14:04:00.004+08:00

yesterday was our 3rd wedding anniversary. but both richie and i were at work so there's really nothing fancy about yesterday. i just cooked richie's fave food (bicol express), though it was not as spicy as i wanted it to be. nevertheless, richie liked it at least.

it was also richie's birthday last saturday. no celebration still, just us family. i cooked pasta in pesto sauce, cheezy garlic potato and made a mocha magnifico ref cake. while i was cooking, richie and euan were having a blast playing outside. and when euan finally dozed off fom a very tiring day, we sneaked out and watched a movie so we can have some time together.

for the 3 years that we have been together, i can say that we fared well as a couple. we had our share of arguments (and i know there will be more disagreements to come in the future) but that does not make us any less of a happy couple. actually i am looking forward to more years of togetherness even if it means more arguments because i think that's how we can grow as a couple and a good measure on how grounded we are in terms of our love for each other. ours may not be a perfect love but i know that it is just the right blend for us.

discoveries

2009-01-05T15:46:00.008+08:00

i can't help but be sympathetic for the sudden death of john travolta's son. the pain of losing a child is immeasurable. but i was also quite alarmed by the fact that travolta's son had kawasaki disease and later on developed asthma as reported. last year, january 25 to be exact, euan was diagnosed with kawasaki disease. good thing the doctors (after a week-long deliberation) were able to give him the (very expensive!) IVIG medicine before it hit his arteries. when he was discharged, he was under aspirin until such time that his blood tests would go back to normal. he was out of aspirin the latter part of the year but had to undergo 2d-echo every 3 months to monitor his heart for any abnormalities. but the summer of last year, we also learned that euan developed asthma. hereditary probably because richie, richie's mom and my father all had asthma.

but with the news about travolta's son made me a bit paranoid about the similarity. according to the news, he also had a history of siezures. i just can't help but worry - is this common to all kawasaki kids?

i knew that KD is a rare disease that had adverse effects to the heart if left untreated as what was explained by euan's pedia-cardio and infectious pedia doctors. all the while i thought that once infused with IVIG, it will be cured. and so he was treated with the IVIG, 8 small bottles plus 2 small smaller ones (dosage computed according to his age) plus the aspirin therapy. but with this news, i got anxious of what this would mean to euan's health. so for my own peace of mind, i googled and found out that there is a site for KD kids and parents, actually it is a foundation for KD kids. mostly, based from the sharing of the parents, their kids suffered from asthma, allegies, migraines and seizures years after the KD diagnosis. now that euan has asthma, it makes me think of the possibility that he may acquire the other effects of KD. although there were some KD kids in the forum who did not suffer any of these effects made me all the more hopeful that some were spared of the dreaded effects. i really hope euan would be spared from it or from any relapse (if there is such a case).

we haven't visited his pedia cardio nor the infectious pedia again but we were already planning on having euan undergo 2d echo again even before the news broke out. i think we really have to visit his doctors again, i just can't risk euan's health. there are so many things running in my mind and i can't help but worry.

i also learned that euan's condition as a KD victim should be well explained especially in school. that i have to deal with once euan starts school. but for now, i am really hoping that things would turn out differently for euan. he seemed okay - a very active and happy child. but i just the same, we have to be extra careful of his health. i don't want to make a big fuss out of it though, and make any special restrictions on his activities just because he had KD. i still want euan to do things normally just like any other kid.

if there's any consolation with these discoveries is the fact that i was able to know about it early on before it may even hit euan. scary but at least i am somehow prepared about it. that if ever these effects manifest on euan, i have something to refer back on. i would not face a blank wall again, just like what we have experienced at the onset of his KD.

bounce

2009-01-05T14:57:00.004+08:00

with much anticipation, i welcomed 2009 with a wide embrace.
i had a hard time trying to be enthusiastic about the coming year, afraid of what it may bring. 2008 was not really a good year, not just my year and i can't think of spending another year thinking nothing but problems and solutions (well at least some have been solved but there are still many that remained unresolved and left hanging just like that). maybe that explains the gloomy mood i had a few days ago..i was just so afraid...
but then again, i cannot be stuck in that gloomy state. i have to move on, rather, move forward and help myself to make things better at least. and so i told myself that i will never let anything get the best of me. period.
how am i gonna do that? with a lot of prayers and a stronger faith. to just be more positive about life. to learn to count my blessings than my depair. to believe that there is a GOD bigger and greater than my seemingly hopeless problems and to know that He will not bring me to a hopeless end (after all, He is the only one who knows what the future will bring, right? so i just have to trust Him on that). and to know that despite my shortcomings and imperfections as a wife and a mother, i am truly loved by a wonderful man and a dear son.
that's enough to make me bounce back to life. enough to look forward to a happier and better year.

breathe

2008-12-31T00:29:00.003+08:00

the year is almost over and i can't seem to shake off the bad feeling. 2008 was not a good year for me and up to the last few days of the year, everything just don't seem right. i don't want to carry all the blues to the coming year as i am hopeful that the new year will bring in a better and happier year. i hate it when i am like this, not in my usual-happy-self. but still, there's this litttle voice in my head, constantly reminding me that "life is what you make it". it's true, it all depends on me whether i want to be happy regardless of what bothers me or just sulk and stay in the gloomy side of life. but there's this part of me that wants to linger and just wallow. confused, all i can do is breathe.

euan's 2nd birthday

2008-11-25T23:15:00.011+08:00

this is a super late post of euan's birthday. it was just a simple celebration with family and friends. i cooked pasta with creamy pesto sauce and chicken & pesto quesadillas (which was a hit!! the recipe can be found here)
since euan's birthday falls on nov 1, we wanted his birthday to be a little special even without throwing a big party for him. and so for the first time we went trick or treat at festival super mall (oct 31), with euan as Tigger. he was so cute in the orange costume! (yun nga lang he was always mistaken as winnie the pooh!?! i heard one of the sales lady saying, "Ang cute naman ni pooh!" sabay abot ng candies kay euan! hay!)
although their theme was something about the Wild, Wild West, i did not bother anymore to get a costume for that theme since i bought the costume before i knew what the theme was. inititally i wanted a bumble bee costume which i think would be cute on him. i thought that i won't be able to fine one in divisoria so i just settled for the tigger costume. but when i went to 168, i found a very cute bumble bee costume and the same tigger costume, cheaper pa than the one i bought! sayang! they also have mickey mouse, barney, sponge bob, pooh, piglet, superman, spiderman, etc...

anyway, euan enjoyed the trick or treat activity even if he fell asleep for an hour (so i was the who went trick or treat for him which i also enjoyed heheh even if i had to carry him while going around the mall) and so when he woke up he was just too happy to see that his jack o' lantern loot bag was full of goodies! i never gave him candies so when he saw it, he wanted to open all the candies at the same time. but he settled with the lollipop instead and just played with the rest of candies.

next year kaya, ano naman ang gimmick ni euan? hay, the stagemom in me....

cooking adventures

2008-11-20T08:32:00.005+08:00

i am not a good cook but i love to eat. but ever since i got married, i took it upon myself to learn how to cook. i try as much as i can to cook and serve good food to my family. i read food blogs and watch cook shows a lot so as to expand my knowledge and to overcome my fear in cooking hehehe.
and so whenever i cook i always have a "kodigo" with me, be it a recipe book, a downloaded recipe, or just a scribbled note. sayang nga i wansn't able to take note of the recipes of my late lola, who used to cook for us. i could have passed on her legacy of great dishes to my kids pero i was just to lazy to cook when i was still single. i think si kuya ata ang nakamana ng galing sa pagluluto ni lola! :)
some of her dishes that i really love are: kare-kare, rellenong bangus, ginisang pusit, mechado, pickles (parang afritadang manok but tastes sweeter). i remember i used to ask her how to cook those dishes and she would readily enumerate the procedures and she knows it by heart!
and so based from what i remember, i tried cooking kare-kare, ginisang pusit and mechado, but mine does not come close to her version (either mine is maalat or matabang, soupy or malapot, basta extremes!)
but practice makes perfect. i hope someday i could do justice to her well-loved dishes :)
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my most frequently visited (or should i say fave) sites: pinoycook, my great food, and nestle. sometimes i do visit quickfire and ajinomoto (for ka-touque's recipes) sites.

bluer than blue

2008-11-18T11:21:00.004+08:00

it breaks my heart to know that euan kept looking for me the whole time yesterday...he didn't saw me leave yesterday, but today he was awake and we played a little before i left for work.
it's just so sad not to be with him and to take care of him because he has colds and i'm afraid it might lead to asthma again. although he is still the same active, always-playing-never-gets-tired boy, i just hope he'll recover soon.
i just can't stop thinking of euan but someone told me that the more i think about him, the more he'll get anxious. i really do hope to get over all my blues in a breeze.

anxious

2008-11-17T11:20:00.003+08:00

i am back to work and i can't help but feel anxious. i miss euan terribly... i think i am having a second bout of separation anxiety. i just hope he would be ok even without me taking care of him...or i think it's more of the other way around - i hope that i will be able to get used to this and adjust quickly with this set up. :(

busy as a bee

2008-10-13T10:06:00.003+08:00

i'm quite busy. i am doing mama au's invitation for her 60th birthday next year. i'll post some pictures as soon as i am done doing it.

another altered art

2008-09-25T10:57:00.003+08:00

these are wooden chopping board, made as key holders. i made these as gifts for our godmothers.

i miss scrapping!

2008-09-24T18:23:00.008+08:00

these are the latest scrap i made as gifts for my friends. i made these last july. these plus a couple of altered chopping boards (which i will post soon) are the only scrap that i made this year :( since i'm on leave, i am planning to finish so many albums that were put on hold...i am also planning to start doing my christmas gifts for family and friends, the scrappy anna way. i'm so bad in meeting deadlines but i do hope to finish, even just the gifts. that's quite a lot and being the moody scrapper that i am, i'm crossing my fingers, sana matapos ko lahat! goodluck na lang sa akin ;)

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i wonder why there are 2 versions of the slide? hmmm.... baka may mali akong napindot!

"i-nan"

2008-09-23T08:47:00.002+08:00

that's how euan says his name. cute noh?! this month he started saying his name, associating things to him, like if he sees his diapers, he would say, "mama, 'i-nan'?" or if he sees his clothes, he would say "i-nan?!" he is so cute! and smart! and if there's one thing that i also find funny (and wierd) is his fondness for his blanket. when he turned one, he would always look for his "nu-not" (kumot)! and so whenever he drinks his milk or gets sleepy, he would always say, "mama, nu-not!"
euan is growing up fast right before my eyes. it makes me happy to see him learning new words, doing things on his own, like getting his slippers or shoes, throwing things in the trash can (like my hair clips, buti na lang hindi cell phone!)
and he knows how to get mad too! saying things that we don't understand but you know it from the tone of his voice and the look of his eyes that he is angry. i don't know how i will be able to correct it but as much as possible we don't raise our voices and whenever he show his angry mood, we would always try to pacify him. i hope we are doing the right thing. and i hope that this is just a phase that would pass by...
hay, it's really hard to raise up a toddler! tiring! but at the end of the day, nothing beats a kiss, a hug, a "voo-voo" (i love u!), and the mere mention of "mama" from euan. that in the world is the sweetest thing, enough to blow all those tiredness away. :)

i'm a SAHM!

2008-09-22T17:35:00.005+08:00

due to thickened endometrial stripe, i recently underwent a fractional D&C as recommended by my OB. so now i am on maternity leave which makes me a stay-at-home-mom! though i have limitations with my usual activities due to the minor procedure, i get to enjoy being with euan for 2 months the most, yey!

new hobby

2008-09-11T15:08:00.003+08:00

Richie and I are starting out with this new hobby. Recently we bought a Nikon D40 DSLR (after much of my prodding, really). Actually it is really my goal to capture great photos of my family since I’m into scrap booking. That’s why I wanted so badly to have a good camera. What I didn’t realize is that photography is equally a demanding hobby as scrap booking! Both needs much of your time and devotion to learn the ropes before you can be satisfied with the results of your efforts. So in order to nurture my yet-to-be-discovered talent in photography, I have started my quest by reading photography books and articles. So far, here’s what I learned:

1. Know your gear. Read the manual of your camera. Unless you do, you won’t be able to maximize the great potentials of your gear. Your camera should be your best bud so you have to be familiar with all its settings, modes, etc, before you can take that perfect shot. I have read my manual a couple of times and that perfect shot is still elusive. I am not yet satisfied with my photos although I am happy to be able to manipulate my gear in bringing out how I wanted my subject to be. Which leads me to point # 2.

2. Compose your subject. Photos are like stories, it tells you something. And in almost all cases, the story depends on the person behind the lens. As they say, “It’s in the Indian, not the pana.” No matter how great or advanced your camera is, if you don’t know how to use it and don’t have an eye for detail, it won’t work. I have a tendency to be “shutter-happy” at times that’s why most of my photos are not clutter-free. I always remind myself a dozen times over that just like in writing, I always have to compose my pictures before pressing that shutter. More often I just press that shutter unmindful of the background or the condition just to capture my son’s moments. Sadly most of the photos are not so good or sometimes, there's this perfect moment for a great photograph and by the time I got the camera, the moment's gone. Maybe i just have to wait for Euan to get a little older so it would be easy for him to pose for the camera.

3. Rule of thirds. This is also related to point #2 and is a great help in composing your subject. It's like putting your subject in an imaginary matrix. It somewhat leads the eye to your subject thus creating a strong focal point of your photo.

So far, those are the things that i remembered and I still have a lot of learning to do. I have tons of reading materials and still have to practice (and experiment) on most of my shots. But one of the things that i like about this hobby is that it makes me appreciate the things around me. Now I am always on the lookout for that beautiful sunset, the greenest grasses, the flowers in bloom, or even the ants at work! kahit nga barbed wire pwede! basta anything that catches my attention :) Hirap pala maging photographer... It really takes great skill and sensitivity to be one, and I wanted to give it a shot!

for more sample photos click here.

a fresh start

2008-09-03T09:31:00.002+08:00

i decided to create a new blog...have been so delinquent in creating posts lately...and after all that has happened in my life, i feel that i just need a fresh start... to write my fleeting thoughts, to share the simple things that I delight in - straight from the heart.