my hopes for this year are high.
i want to capture life as it happens. i want to write more. i want to hone my creativity. i want to brush up with photography. i want to do this altogether. frequently. consistently.
yet these desires are overwhelming me. my intention to do this not just for my family but for myself as well makes it all daunting.
and for quite some time now, i've been doing a lot of thinking on how to channel all my energy into achieving all this. i've been working on how i can motivate (*challenge* would be more fitting) myself to put all these hopes into something that is realistic, something that is tangible.
this year, i am inspired by ali edwards' one little word. i am not joining her class though. but i like how this one little word is meant to inspire. i like how this word would lead you to endless possibilities.
and so my one little word for this year is focus. my hopes need my full concentration, my whole attention. i see that this little word would move me into making all my hopes come together.
i am happy with my one little word. it excites me. i feel that it will guide me. it will lead me to the right track. and my heart just beats for it, and that's what matters.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
rhythm of you
today, at five months, you are moving frequently. it gives me a different kind of joy having to feel you more often - your every kick, your every nudge, your every beat. your movement seem to be the language that only you and i share.
you seem to move when there is music but you move ever so vigorously when you hear kuya or papa's voice. it seems to me that you can't wait to see them. well, they are eager to see you too that kuya even wants to go inside my belly so he can play with you!
i am happy that one night, papa felt your nudge. i think it was more of a kick because it was a strong one. i love how you have let him feel you. for that one brief encounter, you just don't know how happy it made him. how much more if you are already here!
we can't wait for the day to finally see you!
you seem to move when there is music but you move ever so vigorously when you hear kuya or papa's voice. it seems to me that you can't wait to see them. well, they are eager to see you too that kuya even wants to go inside my belly so he can play with you!
i am happy that one night, papa felt your nudge. i think it was more of a kick because it was a strong one. i love how you have let him feel you. for that one brief encounter, you just don't know how happy it made him. how much more if you are already here!
we can't wait for the day to finally see you!
overwhelmed
dear son,
i don't know if i have to feel happy about it but at four years old, your attachment to me is quite overwhelming. each morning is a struggle for me to go to work because you would always beg me to stay! you are not even an early-riser but i don't quite understand how my noiseless attempt to get off to bed seem to wake you up. sometimes, when luck is on my side and i could get off easily, i would be surprised to see you up the minute i'm out of the door!
leaving is equally a hard battle. endless talk of me having to go to work amidst your endless whining for me to just stay and be with you the whole day. but after the meltdown, you would kiss me and let me go!
and today, just before you kissed me goodbye, you told me: "Mama, eat breakfast first!"
you are such a thoughtful kid!
love,
mama
i don't know if i have to feel happy about it but at four years old, your attachment to me is quite overwhelming. each morning is a struggle for me to go to work because you would always beg me to stay! you are not even an early-riser but i don't quite understand how my noiseless attempt to get off to bed seem to wake you up. sometimes, when luck is on my side and i could get off easily, i would be surprised to see you up the minute i'm out of the door!
leaving is equally a hard battle. endless talk of me having to go to work amidst your endless whining for me to just stay and be with you the whole day. but after the meltdown, you would kiss me and let me go!
and today, just before you kissed me goodbye, you told me: "Mama, eat breakfast first!"
you are such a thoughtful kid!
love,
mama
Monday, January 10, 2011
in retrospect
i'm not into new year's resolutions but lately i've been thinking a lot on so many things i want to do for this year. things that i want to improve on and things that i needed to do but wasn't able to. and so now i wanted to not just dip my toes but take the plunge and dive into a different level of memory keeping.
so this year i want to start anew with project life.
last year i made only around 5 LOs... not bad for a moody and slow scrapper like me but it also did not fulfill my need to record memories. i took a lot of pictures but those did not end in scrapbook projects, they were buried in my hard drive. so now i have tons of backlog and i'm thinking of a better way to do with those pictures.
i also noticed that euan loves to see pictures of him and that is a major cue for me to put up an album for him. NOW. which would mean simple LOs that would document the now of things. i want him to remember. i want him to leaf through the pages of his life. this year i want him to be involved not just as the subject of LOs but i want him to be able to write down some of his thoughts or even get the actual bits and pieces of his daily activities like his doodling and drawings. i love that he loves my LOs, which is a big inspiration for me to really make this process work.
i also want to be able to involve richie as well. between the two of us, he is now better at taking pictures even if i am the one who influenced him into photography. i wanted him to be able to capture life and to capture him capturing life.
i also want to take more piuctures of me and have it in LOs as well. and i also wanted to be able to take more pictures that would speak more of how our lives are, NOW. i also wanted to take more family pictures because i also noticed that we only have a few. even if it means taking it from a tripod or just from self-timer and not-so-perfect photos, i would be more than happy if we would have plenty of pictures together as a family.
i also see that i work best with a deadline. most of the LOs i did were from a blog challenge so i think i can do more if i set myself on something. this would not mean having to pressure myself to take photos a week or do a LO a week. but i want this to be free flowing, something that i will enjoy doing. with a lot of things happening this year, especially with the coming baby, i wanted this to be simple, doable and enjoyable. thinking about it ignites my creativity and all its possibilities. i think i will love this process.
this is a great, big plunge for me. it overwhelms me but i know in my heart that it can be done. one little problem though, project life is sold out after i decided to even try it! guess i would have to keep everything digital first, journal and all then transfer them to the album when it arrives. at least i have something to start with...
that's the spirit! cheers to creativity!
so this year i want to start anew with project life.
last year i made only around 5 LOs... not bad for a moody and slow scrapper like me but it also did not fulfill my need to record memories. i took a lot of pictures but those did not end in scrapbook projects, they were buried in my hard drive. so now i have tons of backlog and i'm thinking of a better way to do with those pictures.
i also noticed that euan loves to see pictures of him and that is a major cue for me to put up an album for him. NOW. which would mean simple LOs that would document the now of things. i want him to remember. i want him to leaf through the pages of his life. this year i want him to be involved not just as the subject of LOs but i want him to be able to write down some of his thoughts or even get the actual bits and pieces of his daily activities like his doodling and drawings. i love that he loves my LOs, which is a big inspiration for me to really make this process work.
i also want to be able to involve richie as well. between the two of us, he is now better at taking pictures even if i am the one who influenced him into photography. i wanted him to be able to capture life and to capture him capturing life.
i also want to take more piuctures of me and have it in LOs as well. and i also wanted to be able to take more pictures that would speak more of how our lives are, NOW. i also wanted to take more family pictures because i also noticed that we only have a few. even if it means taking it from a tripod or just from self-timer and not-so-perfect photos, i would be more than happy if we would have plenty of pictures together as a family.
i also see that i work best with a deadline. most of the LOs i did were from a blog challenge so i think i can do more if i set myself on something. this would not mean having to pressure myself to take photos a week or do a LO a week. but i want this to be free flowing, something that i will enjoy doing. with a lot of things happening this year, especially with the coming baby, i wanted this to be simple, doable and enjoyable. thinking about it ignites my creativity and all its possibilities. i think i will love this process.
this is a great, big plunge for me. it overwhelms me but i know in my heart that it can be done. one little problem though, project life is sold out after i decided to even try it! guess i would have to keep everything digital first, journal and all then transfer them to the album when it arrives. at least i have something to start with...
that's the spirit! cheers to creativity!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
blissful moments
there are many things to be thankful for this month. after hubby's birthday, today we are celebrating our 5th anniversary. at about this time, we are done with our exchange of vows and was pronounced husband and wife. i can still remember what fr. ador told us in his homily...that 2:45PM, the exact time we were exchanging our vows, is our special prayer time - it is a time that we should pray for each other, where ever we may be. even at times when we failed to be consistent with this promise, because of the many things that we've been doing (although that is not a fair excuse), we never forget to pray for each other before bedtime. this year i hope start the habit of praying for my hubby during our special prayer time.
to my dear husband,
thank you for being with me through thick and thin. our journey was never easy and i know that things will remain to be challenging in the future, but knowing that you are there to take my hand every single step calms my restless heart. the life experiences we have shared along the way made us stronger as a couple and i could never imagine having anyone to share it with than you. YOU have made the journey worthwhile. thank you and i love you so much!
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and while i am in bliss, i am also celebrating friendships. it's always refreshing to be with friends who, even if you haven't seen for a while has kept the same warmth over the years. i love my college friends! i love how we have stood with each other as life unfolds. we've seen the best and worst of each other and i love that those were not enough reasons for us to grow apart but instead formed a stronger bond of friendship. i love that we were able to look back and laugh at all our impulsive decisions and silly mistakes during our younger years. and i love that those remained to be private among us. best of all, i love that we have remained true to each other over the years. it really feels good to have true friends who would welcome you with open arms in spite and despite of.
Monday, January 3, 2011
hopeful
As i bid goodbye to a challenging 2010, i am looking forward to 2011 with hope.
2010 was not a perfect year for me but God always has His way of making His presence felt in my life. He has gifted me another chance on motherhood, my top blessing for 2010. He has made me experience His love through the joys of having a wonderful, happy toddler who rocked my world big time. I found His strength through my loving husband to whom i find comfort when all else seemed helpless. He has constantly reminded me to be joyful, even when trials get the better of me.
As I welcome 2011 with much hope, I also embrace it with much thanksgiving as we celebrate my husband's birthday. His birthday has always been a gentle reminder for me to be thankful at the start of each year - with the blessing of another year of love, joy, and friendship.
Happy new year! May 2011 be a better year for all of us. Cheers!
2010 was not a perfect year for me but God always has His way of making His presence felt in my life. He has gifted me another chance on motherhood, my top blessing for 2010. He has made me experience His love through the joys of having a wonderful, happy toddler who rocked my world big time. I found His strength through my loving husband to whom i find comfort when all else seemed helpless. He has constantly reminded me to be joyful, even when trials get the better of me.
As I welcome 2011 with much hope, I also embrace it with much thanksgiving as we celebrate my husband's birthday. His birthday has always been a gentle reminder for me to be thankful at the start of each year - with the blessing of another year of love, joy, and friendship.
Happy new year! May 2011 be a better year for all of us. Cheers!
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